Momas'Day

As the month of May creepily entered my calendar,, I realized something was special... Well the Mothers Day entered my to-do-list...  I thought I was the only dearest daughter in the world who cared for her mother... But again my illusion was broken, by good major mates... Both of my major mates were also anxious about this one day... 

First we got confused when the actual day was, some one said 1st may, other  8th may... But after all whats my dear Google for?? We found the date It was 13th May,, the second Sunday of may...

So sitting in our Philosophy Exam hall, we three started discussing what to gift our dearest mothers,,, but to our surprise it was not only we three but many others who wanted to gift their mom,,. Hence the discussion broke out, one mate said she had already gifted her mother a Saree worth three thousand bucks... Now we all got dumbstruck by the selfless act and realized how shameless we were only gifting our mom's worth hundred or two hundred  bucks gift... So again the group of three my new good friends and me, we decided to buy the gift in evening,,, after coaching class... 

*** 

After coaching got over, we three went shop to shop not finding the right gift... some offering hair pins, some clutches, some out dated vases.. Then of our mate fell sick so she left.. Then Major mate and I set on her scooter to find the shop... Finally we went to a shop, and I call the shop keeper modaru (drinker in Assamese)... So we happily bought the gift according to our budget.. But we were so engrossed in Shopping that we failed to panic and sense that earthquake had taken place...  And again my shopping angered  my dear best friend when he called... 

*** 

I reached home late with pens in my hand, than the usual time,, to find my happy family sitting on sofa and making list for the grand wedding to take place in two months...
For one whole  day I hid the gift in my satchel...... 

***

So on Saturday night when my future Olympic Gold medalist (she keeps playing galaxy ball every night, and breaking her own score everynight) mother went asleep, I tip toed to my room. unpacked her gift and put the pens inside ( I gifted her pens too, She robs me of my pens everyday) and put her gift near specs, hoping she finds in Morning...

 Now it cant be my story so easy victory...

Expectation...

I thought, when she wakes up in morning, she will search her, specs... After she finds her specs, she would chance upon her gift.. She would be excited and say " Oh my baby! she must have searched so many places..." and hug me in my sleep and kiss me...

Reality...

Thanks to my dear Goldie, no such thing happened... Like every night he kept giving wet kisses.. Suddenly he called my Mom, to complain " Momma Look Ants on my bowl of royal canine..." So Mom switched on the lights,,, started removing the ants, searching her specs, chanced upon the gift, she thought whats shining?.. Then realizing her gift... saying "Whats this, my Little daughter has gifted me, I am sure she has given more price then the actual rate" she said all this without opening her gift .to find a flower vase with pens in it... She slept back without giving the hug and kiss,,,,

  She opened the gift in morning after her daily Puja... then finally I got my kiss with the question how much did you spend.??..

Well this Mothers day was, different. Mother and daughter went to market to buy our supplies of ration... But came back with  Jalebi (sweetmeat).. We spent the noon eating Jalebi, and listening Adele's  "Rolling in the Deep" & others on youtube just for change from our desert of Rabindra Sangeet...

Element of Surprise

I decided to make the day different, hence at midnight I had text-ed all  my Boy-friends - to wish there mothers happy mothers day..  I succeed with all the boys except for my own Best friend,,,,...

P. S- Nothing  ever happens as I expect, why do I get surprised when fate twists my reality everyday... Haven't learn my lesson yet...

thanking you to bear with me
paulOaries

dearing you.....

 We are born with certain permanent relations, but as we grow up some relations are made, which become thicker than blood.... Well today is no adventure day, no twisted tale, but birthday day of a person, who has been more than a friend...  

its a letter to my soul sister..... 

Dear Maple,

I know not, what to write, but I hope when you read this, a smile flies to your eyes from the lips... Its going to be a year, of us being on our separated paths... Wish you a very happy birthday... I bought your gift, but could not send you, as courier services don't reach to your University...  So the soapy long hand letters can wait.... Thank you for being with me always.. 

Since kindergarten you have been my friend, sometimes advising not  to eat sweetmeat for tooth decay, or jumping in front of my Mom to ask if she was my mother, or teaching me how to whistle.. 

Though our friendship strengthened  from seventh grade, thank you God for making our Favorite Anime series Princess Tutu.... I don't remember how we became so close, but I do remember, how we tried to rewrite the story.... Its going to be eight years of sisterhood...

I love you as a sister, not cause you care for me like a mother from last birth, not cause you are willing to beat up people for hurting me, not for pretending to be you don't care.. I love you cause, you helped me realize my dream,... I thank you for all those crazy days... of you fighting with the security guards, you hiding my guitar to save me,...

I really do miss our breakfast making and self appointed culinary classes in your home... I still want to fight those Twilight fights... I hope you do realize I miss you... I still wear your friendship ring.. I know our priority has changes... But our Europe Trip before Thirty is On....   

I wish you all the success and stability of mind ( don't you dare argue, accept it that  you are fickle)... I hope the tensions you provide me time and again vanishes ... May you over come your sorrows and wake up to see there are many who are for you...

  

P.S- Stop behaving as my mother, I already have a mother, and be my soul sister till the end....

thanking you to bear with me

paulOaries...

just paint away....

Life is touched by few, some motivate, some influence, some teach... and some question the whole existence of us.....

Well today paulOaries had, something different, yet very rooting experience.... Whats my life without a surprise at every other turn and no.....  Today was my Art Sixth year finals ( practicals)... It was one of the worst day for my painting.... But an awesome chance to be swept of my balanced mind....

My cousin brother and I went to over filled art school, where no place was reserved for us... Then we were sent to first floor, and asked to sit on floor covered with bed-sheet... But more tykes came up, and my brother suggested that we should move to the roof...  I have had seen the roof, but it was not what we call a roof...

Enter the great surprise.... a small width concrete structure was standing on the building and claiming it self as roof... At that point I felt pushing off my brother from the *roof*... It was really sunny day , and we had to sit on the dirty roof.. to paint... To my dismay, too many distraction existed and my mind was out of colours... My subject to paint... ** City Day**...  

Distraction 1:- the roof... though it was small, I could not stop romancing with my cell phone... and took the pictures... The roof was really inspiring... and I felt spiritually elevated... The bag belongs to my Little brother, and the brushes and pen are mine....

 Distraction 2:- the view from the roof... was enchanting me to stop painting and just sit there and get united with the ether  (too spiritual)...  I could sit there for eternity....

Distraction 3 :- that's my art paper, my bottle, and my paint box, half of what I took with me... My small purse containing water colours and oil colours... To me these are real still life...

Distraction 4 :- The view again, but the building constructed  near was no less diverting,,, Well that inspired me to draw city life... that raw building, that is visible in the picture below...

Distraction 5 :- the other side of the roof... rather I could not stop looking a

round...

 Distraction 6 :-  The flower tubs too helped me to dream away further... Then I remembered, That my brother was with me too....

The final product of practical one :- worst painting of my life.... Even a five year old has better colour sense and imagination..... I could not Draw any vehicle properly, nor paint decent colours, and I forgot to take my Artist colours....

With the second paper approaching, my brother deserted me, alone.. So I was shifted back to reality, to the First floor... And my still life exam started.. After lots of  adjustment and query, I was given a Steel Jug, Steel glass and Wooden flower vase with with artificial flower....  

With me sat the founder of the Art school and the invigilator of all exams.. Yes I had most artistic day of my life in years.... Founder asked me various question, later realizing I am granddaughter of his neighbor and I live in the same block....   I asked the Invigilator if he is the same person who came years back in the art workshop I attended, to which I got negative....  Founder asked me if I had trained in singing,  No I said... But I said I have a deep desire to Learn Rabindra Sangeet.. He has... asked me to go to him for three months and he will teach me the basic.... I asked if new guitar, he agreed to teach that after I learn Rabindra Sangeet...  He told me how upset he was that his students who teach now, have become very professional instead of  sharing and worshiping the art of music...  

After three hour long chatting examination, I went to submit my disgraceful Still Life.... Then the Invigilator showed me my fault in art... He explained the concept of Light and Shadow and how I must Worship my Art....

These is the final product, and the flash in my cellphone made the work even lighter...

I realized, that my art is never good when I have limited time and I am forced to imagine....  My study table is filled with my art, rather scribbled art, my whole life pictured on it, and that's my worship, which I perform unconsciously on my table, back of my notebook, on my poetry book...   Today I could not channel myself to the happiness...

But it was a day woth remembering and penning and sharing.... Not very exciting, but really unexpected.. 

P.S- In the end writing has been my first love,...

thanking you to bear with me
pauloaries

was lost and found

the lost version........ 3 October  2011....... draft and better version of -the battle trip to home

Good morning my imaginary readers (sorry again) happy Durga puja. So the Goddess has arrived, with her children and pets. The Goddess arrives at her Baaper Bari ( father's home rather in plain translation ). As far as my knowledge concerns about Durga puja or pujo, all I know its the time for new clothes. But its a shame to all the Bangla speaking people if  I  define this event into a materialistic aspect. the GODDESS is here to kill the demon Mahishaasur ( not sure of the correct spelling pardon again. ). She is here to kill the inner devil in our hearts- the selfish nature of our minds, the jealous heart, the unkind faces behind our fake masks. She is here to show mankind GOOD always wins over EVIL. Its the battle of Goddess, which we Bongs ( Bengali ) celebrate...... but we celebrate it with  delicacies , new clothes , and a new hope of  spirit....

                                  A spirit which drives us to shop all year (joking), well a spirit which guides us to achieve new everyday, win the inner battles we have all.... A Bong is a Bengali with first Kash Phool ( a symbol of beauty, a type of plant called Kash ) Sueli Phool ( a kind of flower ) and the First Sound Of Dhak  ( a drum).

thinking still how this post  got lost....

thanking you to bear with me
paulOaries

Little Litu.....

A goodbye, that I don't want to give...

2 March 2012

( due to certain reasons the post could not be published on the actual date)

The purpose of life is not to live forever, but to live eventful, even if its a Dog's life.... How are we to prevent the known, that is the final calling?

The boy who never grew my Litu-pan ... you actually did not want to grow old, so you left......

Well when he came he was the worlds cutest puppy ever, with those lovely puppy eyes he had enchanted me... On 23rd  December 2006, came to me, just a 21 days old new born life. As a Christmas Gift from my mother. .....  A life who was so naughty that, we could never civilize him. A life which Departed today, giving us tears which are yet to dry....

My Litu ( Little- official name) left us for God, but being a selfish human, the whole family fails to accept the truth.  Since two weeks he was not putting up with good health, wasn't willing to taste a single morsel. But we kept him surviving on fluids....

He was not a pet, he was like my little brother, I couldn't stop loving him ,  for his never ending barks, licks, and jumps. I have scolded him, punished him, for his misadventures in the garden, on road, in car...Like any teenage boy, he loved Cars, he loved travelling in cars... Everyday for him was happy, no reason to be angry...

He was a great watchdog, for us and our neighbors and the whole colony, a great Maa bhakt ( my mom's sole lover rather real son..).  A protector, a real bodyguard who need to be guard by us during night walks...

Well we woke  up today to see him, that he will never wake up,. When he left today, he was still the worlds most handsome dog..  Five years , Litu gave us excitement, joy, love and  happiness without any materialistic purpose or selfish desire....

I apologize to you, for not providing you the freedom you deserved and wanted, you were always tied up and grounded as you were so naughty..

As we were burring him, a snail's shell fell in too, I just couldn't stop  mumbling everything happens for a reason,. When Litu was really Little, he used to eat up snails in garden,. and I fell the shell is a omen, rather indication from him to us, that He is in a place where he is free...

 I have a vision that you are free now, and running wild like you always did... A place where you are playing with Jassi, and no one is there to stop you.... one day we all will be together, you and the happy family...

P.S- He did not die, he just visited us for five years......

thanking you to bear with me
paulOaries










  

Flimflam Love...

When  Mehera (our helping hand) had broken the news of Kakri becoming Queen (pregnant cats are called so), my Mom and I got furious... She was only a year old and she was Queen already.. We had seen her dating the old fat cats, but we did not think she could be Queen  that soon.... That point I felt like a mother, who was embarrassed and was answerable to society for  her teen  daughter's  carelessness....

But today I am not here to pen about my Cat, but the reality I see around....   

I live in a small but economically sound town (its a junction though) of Assam ( state in India), or as I believe it to be... So today Mom and I were as usual talking about our day, when we ran back to our Pets past... We were ridiculing Kakri for her choice of Mates,  praising her mother and grandmother ( Jassi and Mini)...  Then it  struck me, if Kakri's being a Queen was so hurting, how would those parents feel whose Human Daughters ran away?

When I first joined my Second School in XIth grade, we saw a beautiful girl (I do not remember her name) who ran away on the second day of school. In two years stay in my lovely school, I saw three girls getting married while studying... After passing out High School I heard another getting married to a  twenty eight (28) year old  (now she is a queen too).... But after joining Pink College I have come to learn about many interesting stories of elopement rather running away...

1. One of the Professor's daughter ran away with his personal autoist (driver...), after this incident he has become more strict with his students, scolding any girl and boy talking, watching over our uniforms...

2. Another Professor bought his niece to study under his guidance, she ran away with a frustrated rogue...

3. Few days back one of my old classmate, ran away and married the son of the helping aunts in school. The boy even slapped her in public but.... The girls father is a reputed officer in Company...... her husband too a motorist... 

4. We witnessed a girl in  Girls Common Room, who changed to Bridal Red Salwar, and threw are Uniform in the dust-bin, and rode off on motor bike with her beloved to get married...

5. One of my father's Colleague's Son ran away with his girlfriend (the girl already had a record of running off twice with two different boys).. he was caught and restored to mind, now he is dumped...  

6. One of my Grandfather's ex-tenant's third son ran away and got married as his mother asked Dowry from the girl's family...

7. Another Classmate of mine left her studies and is sitting in home as her Boyfriend hates other boys talking to her,,, She did  not even think once about her family's hopes, and insulted her best friend of fourteen years over a boy...  

These are the few stories of the Elopement mania..rather running of adventures...I never understood the point of running off and ruining the family's name... Yes I may sound ancient and very idealistic daughter, I really don't see the argument.. Some explain me that "love is Blind" or say "they were in Love".... I have been brought up a very rooted human.. I believe in the matching of standards... Leaving my education for Love is stupid.... In today's world where money cant provide you mental security, can Love without maturity and education and job provide life's basic need- Food, Shelter, Clothing? 

Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener.....

In today's world Education is must, thousands in our country are craving for books, pens, paper... Yet some mindless youths don't see the reality... We live in a small town so, family can be supported on very small income, but ain't we degrading the growth in standards... A officers daughter marries a driver, a Cleaner's son running off with teacher's girl.. Love is pure, but I fail to see the purity that they claim.... I sound discriminating, I support equality, equality between the equals,,,  

 In Pink College I have heard that boys from lower strata of society aim to make girls from upper strata fall in love,,, I even heard my name too came up as a target...But when it comes to me, my anger and dignity has created a wall around me, hence I got the names like- Untouchable Goddess, Ice Princess, etc etc...

My mother says they will realize after two-three years in the humdrum of married life... But How do we make people of my age understand that life is not bed of roses? Instead of looking over our  uniforms, our fickle minds must be checked,,, Some say Love marriage, elopements are a way of rebelling? to which I answer " I am a Rebel but I dare not spite my nose to hurt my parents.."  Whats a Rebellion that's no good to self.... Its a selfish world with selfish aims, stupid sacrifices are of no use... 

 We keep shouting about equality, about dignity, about respect, we will never get a single bit, If we offer ourselves to bondage of ignorance, dominance, cruelty and commit the grave sin of  marriages at a young age....     

Gone are the days of Romeos who would die for Juliets, now is the era where every stupid puppy love begins with us ends in your Child, your mother, your etc,,,,  

If any of my readers are of my age, and if you think alike please aware your friends about the other-side of this stupidity, and if you want to elope, think once. 

" Will you live your Old Gods for the new temple", is your love so important then your parents smile...

Ten years down the line you really don't want to see yourself with babies around, you cleaning, cooking, with no career, but waiting for the money at the end of the month provided by your husband......

  

Live your life, don't go for obvious, in the end it wont even matter if you ever existed, without your story you are spec of dust...  

P.S- Education is must, Love a chance, a chance to get ruined or a chance to be successful...

thanking you to bear with me

paulOaries

little galaxy of us...

                    I had enough of sad thoughts wandering, floating and juggling my mind for last Ten months. Its soon to be a year of my tragic twist of fate,,,,, 

I had been cursing my life, crying, and being jealous of my friends who are enjoying their college life, wearing cool clothes and studying in better places than me and enjoying  freedom (I didn't write the as Its not real freedom) which I had been planning for five long years, (sounds very childish from a mature writer oops blogger like me). My well wishers  advise me Try for D.U again, my reply is " No, Not at Cost of one year"  

Many think my life at home is pathetic , so the words are typed to answer the stereotypical baboon heads, who think studying outside home, living alone is freedom... (I was one of them too)  

But the strange question they ask "Is my present life as pathetic as they feel?"

So here we go:-

My life is alive, as you you  have read before about my family, we are family of four, but with loving pets... But in technical way we are scattered around three places, My Father is posted to the pouch of Silchar (city of Assam), my sister in City of joy, and in home Mom and me...

So failing to Join my beloved D.U, had a plus point!!! I am with Mom, hence I can look after the Little naughty girl residing inside her... My Mom is a woman of dominating and free spirit...  

I wake very late, and bathe as long as I want, I have delicious breakfast everyday.... 

I go college riding my bicycle, enjoying the views of nature. Risking my life with road full of heavy vehicles, my dupatta (long scarf) conspiring to kill me, gets stuck in the wheels everyday just minutes before I reach college..

 In class I feel superior (a little lie, no superior but really shocked) as most of them never heard of Charles Dickens but  Chetan Bhagat , my class is unique, where poor Shakespeare becomes Drama, heartbroken Othello dramatist, Jane Austen.... lets not tell... but making me the good girl, popular among my professors, and my major mates little jealous of me, but what I feel my condition really is - Among the blind the one-eyed Girl is Queen. My major mates are no stupids ( actually some have sharp memory, and writing skills, but they are not either aware).., though I know little more than them still I am second, as Mugging Up is the way to go policy done my mates (which I cant)...

I go to coaching classes where I keep talking and talking my poor teacher listens to me,.. But the only places I like to be are, the Bookshop  - 'Book n Book' and the flyover. The bookshop is one place where after coaching classes I keep hankering around for a hour or two every week, The owner is the only book seller whom I met, actually reads the books and provides reviews... He always shows me expensive books and I always find the less costly one (we have a understanding you see).  

In home I have my mother, my grandmother and my cousins (they come to our home at least thrice a day)  who never read my blog-posts but listens to them ( as I have to read them out, that's the condition of a aspiring writer like me.). My Satirical family is very supportive when it comes to criticism... 

We go shopping, now its become a ritual Mother and daughter go hand in hand to market and keep buying new outfits... Again she makes me jump into kitchen garden, or we share the sunset with a bowlful of grapes...Or running after Little, Kakri, or Goldie, who say " Catch me If you can, butter on your Pan"

At night I study, I enjoy my dinner, and then, sometimes Mom and I watch movies, sometimes she reads me out Bangla Classics, sometimes we are husband hunting for my sister, sometimes we listen to Rabindra Sangeet in Youtube. Goldie to comes and joins us on my Laptop  saying "I love Music too Didi"  ... Or the most obvious I keeping talking about affairs, who ran away with whom, which of my classmates has boyfriend, what my notorious best friends are upto and my Mom listens to them and gives her valuable comments but without remembering a single word I utter to her ears ...

Now I want to ask, how many can actually trace their one-day of life??? 

Does my life look pathetic enough? 

P.S-  It is easy to take liberty for granted, when you have never had it taken from you. ~ Dick Cheney

thanking you to bear with me
paulOaries